How nice to be welcomed with a fresh bath and a cup of tea … My hosts, Ary, Annie, little Tiara, grandma or ‘oma’ Indah en grandpa or ‘opa’ Yoko, believe in karma: what they give to the people and the world, will eventually turn back to them. So they choose to be friendly, patient, open minded, warm hearted, welcoming and loving. They choose to be happy and to share this happiness, through good and bad times. And yes, as every family, they went through difficult times as well.
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| little Tiara -age 3 |
Their house has a good vibe: peaceful, airy, open to the world all day long and to all kinds of passers by. This is what they teach me: to welcome strangers with open arms, to sit on the doorstep together without talking and watch. Just watch what passes by.
One day I’ll return all the good things that people like them are giving me now. It might not be directly back to them, but new strangers will benefit.
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| 'Angklung'-musical instrument-bamboo |
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| oma Indah |
Back to the bath: I left my flip flops on the doorstep, circled up some stairs and there he was, grandpa Yoko, getting up from his mat (he was watching television) and welcoming me with the typical folded hands before the chest. He went straight into the bathroom and opened the tap to get my bath running. I was stupefied. No stranger ever did that for me before! Grandma Indah brought me tea, Ary a towel or ‘handuk’. And happy sweaty me splashed fresh water and lovely smells around. Fifteen minutes later I stepped out of the bathroom with a big smile and a sincere ‘tirimakasi’ or thank you.
Maybe I should mention that this family is muslim, like so many families here in Java. Which has its consequences: the ‘Musholla’ or prayer room is next to my bedroom. So I wake up in the middle of the night (mosque wake up call), I listen to the hustling and bustling in the house (time to pray!) and fall asleep again.
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| Ary smoking 'Dji Sam Soe', sigaret with clove |
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| me, NOT smoking |
At breakfast and lunch I sit together with grandma Indah. She teaches me all the secrets of the Indonesian cooking, through gestures and smells and flavours. She only speaks a few words of English, so we communicate over an outdated (1940ies) English-Indonesian dictionary. Our conversations often end up in loud fits of laughter. I will always remember her as 'my special Indonesian mother'.
The weird thing is that this family is grateful that I am a guest in their house. They drive me to potteries, to silver factories, to temples ... and they just love to do this. They see me as the perfect reason to organise a family get-together. Little Tiara (age 3) says ‘tante Joey’ (aunt Joey). And I listen how they use familiar Dutch words, such as ‘oma, opa, tante, oom, soentjes’.
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| Ary at entrance of temple |
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| Me and school kids |
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