How about Englishydutch?

On 16-04-2011 I wrote:

English or Dutch? I can't decide. A while ago, I started blogging in English because ‘they’ asked me to: fellow travellers, friends and family all over the world. But I miss my mother tongue. Although English is close to my heart, Dutch is closer. And easier to write. But I want to practise my English writing skill too. And I like brain exercise. Get the point? I'm writing this text as a kind of remedy, silently hoping that I’ll stumble upon an answer while doing so.

Yesterday morning: a Dutch wonderfully shaped&coloured idea popped into my mind, but when I put my fingers down, I created a weird and incomprehensible mix of 'Dutchyenglish' sentences. Today the same thing happened, but the other way around: English shaped&coloured ideas resulted in 'Englishydutch' not digestable (and absolutely not worthy of publishing) soup of words. Terribly and painfully confusing!

And then there are the 'Bad Writing Days', or the days in which I feel absolutely lost in language. Impossible to produce a single Dutch word. Hesitation towards English out of embarrassment. Shyness, yes, especially right after I’ve been reading weblogs written by native speakers. I know that comparison is something one better skips (bad for the ego) but still ...

So a choice has to be made. If not, I might lose my skill in BOTH languages.

On 17-04-2011 I wrote: English?

Fact: my everyday spoken language whilst travelling in Indonesia is (basic) English.

Fact: my English speaking skill, let alone my writing skill, is currently deteriorating fast.

Logic: the best way to practise my English writing skill, is to continue to write in English.

Logic: because I dream, eat, walk, bathe, meditate, learn, communicate, … in English, the most logical thing to do is to write in it.

But no. I’m not ready to decide!

So let’s contact Dylan the Computer Expert. Ask him to think about my problem. The result of his computer literacy is the Google Translator Tool you find top left of this page (Thank you, Dylan!). It’s easy to use but unfortunately not the best translator. And OF COURSE there’s a catch to it.

From now on, I can write as many Dutch texts as I want. English readers are just one buttonclick away from the English version. They’ll get the core, the essence of everything that I write.

But, and here’s the catch, this can’t be done the other way around: Dutch readers will not be able to translate the already published English texts. Reason: installing the translator tool means you have to choose a standard language for the weblog, which is in this case: Dutch. And Google does not translate INTO the standard language.

So .. ? Dutch? Google Translator just gave me the freedom to write in my mother tongue. My English efforts are not needed anymore. But I'll miss the practise ...  Don’t decide, Joey. Not yet. Let’s have a poll on Facebook first.

Today I decide:

not to decide. I choose not to choose. I write a goodbye, a farewell to choice. I’ll write English when I feel like it. I’ll write Dutch when I feel like it. And I’ll use the f*** Dutchyenglish or the Englishydutch as a welcome solution for all my Bad Writing Days. Or maybe I’ll write English from Monday to Friday (because it’s hard work), and I’ll write Dutch on fluent Saturdays and easy lazy Sundays. Or ... Or ...  And the combination of all this back and forth jumping, well, that’s just me. Chaos. Confused. EXTREMELY SLOW in choosing. Sometimes I like this slow chaotic me. And more and more. And most of the time. 

P.S. There's enough stuff to read, in English AND in Dutch. So, dear reader, pick and read whatever you want to read, in whatever language you like the most. I'll just keep on producing both. And have a go at this Translator Tool. Fun!

THE END